Goodbye, Baby Girl
by our-hearts-are-connected
Summary: That night, Joel hadn't just said "goodnight" to his baby girl. Even though he hadn't known it, he'd also said "Goodbye". This is the aftermath of Sarah's death in her spirit's POV. I'm planning on doing similar stories for Tess, Henry, Sam, and David. Sarah, Joel, Tommy, and The Last of Us belong to Naughty Dog.


**Black.**

That's all you're able to see when your eyes shoot open, as if you'd been having a nightmare. You remain still, trying to process what's happened. Your breathing is heavy, and yet…it barely feels like you're breathing at all. As you lay in this black void, you trace your steps in your memory.

First, Uncle Tommy had called when you were sleeping. He was looking for Dad. The phone went dead before he could finish. You searched the house for him, and only found him when he came rushing through the back door, telling you that your neighbor Jimmy was "sick". He burst through the sliding glass door, and Dad had no choice but to shoot him before he could hurt either one of you. He warned you that you needed to get out of town, and Uncle Tommy picked up the both of you. He attempted to get you both somewhere safe, but everyone else in town had that idea, too. A man got out of his car…and another man and woman in hospital gowns, yelling and foaming at the mouth, attacked him. They…began to eat him alive, shredding and biting at his flesh as they'd pinned him down. Uncle Tommy drove off again. But this time, you crashed, and the car flipped over onto its side. Your leg was hurt, and Dad had to carry you as Tommy led you two to safety.

Your hometown was a shell of what it used to be. There was fire…people screaming…everything had gone to hell.

Tommy stayed behind to fend off the "sick" people who were chasing you. He told Dad to get you away from them, and he carried you outside of the city. More "sick" people were on your tail, until a soldier shot them. Dad begged him to help you, but he commanded him to stop where he was. Dad insisted that you two were clean, and that you needed to be protected before anyone else. The soldier asked for instructions on what to do through a communicator. You were fearful, but you thought you were going to be okay.

"Daddy, what about Uncle Tommy?" You had asked. Dad assured you that he was going to fine.

Then, you heard a phrase that had erased any feelings of hope.

"Sir, there's a little girl. But…Yes, sir."

No. No, no, no. He wouldn't have…would he?

"Listen, buddy, we've just been through hell. We just need…."

Dad's voice quickly faded as the light fastened to the soldier's gun shone right in your eyes, nearly blinding you.

"Oh, **_SHIT_**." Dad had sworn under his breath, before trying to swivel around, to protect you from the spray of bullets that followed.

Just then, as you lay in the pitch black, lonely void, you sit upright, feeling an excruciating burst of pain in your abdomen. Right where a bullet had hit.

You struggled to stand up, panic and fear quickly setting in. You began to look around, looking for any sign of anyone. Your eyes then settled on your stomach. Near the bottom of your favorite T-shirt, was a massive bloodstain.

 **You couldn't be dead. You COULDN'T!**

As the horrendous realization sank in, the void around you began to change. It morphed and swirled around you, giving way to images instead of perpetual darkness. You were no longer inside the empty void. But what you see before you nearly made you wish that you still were.

Just a few feet away from you is Uncle Tommy, Dad's revolver in his hand. The soldier who had fired at you lies on the ground, a pool of blood forming underneath his head. Your eyes then move to focus on Dad, on his knees in the dirt. You can hear what seems to be faint sobbing coming from him.

 **"** **Dad…?"** You whisper, walking up to him carefully.

As you inch closer, you realize why he's crying. He's cradling you in his arms, embracing your body. Tears roll down his cheeks and onto yours, your lifeless eyes directed towards the sky.

 **"** **Daddy!"** You cry out, running to him and trying to shake his shoulders. Your hands try to grab onto his shirt, only to phase through his body.

 **"** **Dad?"** You whimper again.

 **"** **Daddy, I'm right here…I'm here, Dad. Please stop cryin'…"**

Despite your pleas, he doesn't hear you. He doesn't see you.

"Don't do this to me…Don't do this to me, baby girl…" He pleads with you, as you stand right beside him, watching him beg for you to come back.

"No, no, no…Please. Please don't do this. Please, God…"

This wasn't real. This was just a bad dream. It _HAD_ to be.

"Joel, we have to go. More soldiers are bound to be on the way. We'll…We'll take her and we'll bury her." Uncle Tommy said calmly, though it's made clear by his voice that he's upset, too. He bends down next to Dad and attempts to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Dad wails, pushing Tommy away. His voice sounds like nothing you had ever heard before.

" _JOEL_. We'll make sure she's put to rest. I promise." Tommy tries to calm him, even if on the inside, he knew it was probably futile.

"She's with God now. He'll take care of her."

When Uncle Tommy says that, you feel your bottom lip begins to quiver. This…wasn't a dream. Your soul is left to wander on its own…and this doesn't seem like Heaven.

"…Then God can **_go fuck himself_**." You think you hear Dad protest, as he pulls your body even closer to him.

Uncle Tommy doesn't waste any more time. He pulls Dad up with his arm, and forces him to stand up, with you still hanging limp in his arms.

"C'mon…" Tommy whispers, as he tries to act like the strong older brother that Dad was to him. They start to walk away, away from the dead soldier, away from you.

 **"** **Daddy! Uncle Tommy, wait!"** You yell, but once again, the world around you starts to dissolve, Dad and Tommy fading out of sight.

You are planted in the deep and miserable abyss for a second time, and this time you find yourself on the verge of tears.

 **"** **It…It ain't FAIR!"** You screech out, though no one is there to hear you.

 **"** **It ain't fair…"** You say again, but the lump in the back of your throat makes it difficult for you to scream like you want to.

You were so young…you had so much that you were going to do. Kate's birthday party was going to be the next day. You hadn't given Dad his birthday card yet. You had soccer practice next week.

 _Why were you taken so soon?_

Before you can even fully process it, the void transforms yet again, and now it takes you back to…your house?

You stand still, wondering why you're back here. More tears prick at your eyes as you now comprehend that you and Dad won't be coming back. At least…not alive.

Then, that makes you wonder. You're dead. You're a spirit, a ghost, maybe even your actual soul. How are you crying if you don't have a body anymore? Did other spirits go through this? Were you a special case? Or…perhaps you were just so full of emotion before that your empathy was transferred on to your soul as well.

As you come to that final thought, you are snapped back to the scene around you. You come to notice that you are on the living room sofa, just stirring from light nap. Dad comes through the front door, on the phone with Uncle Tommy. This was when you were still alive. This was before your entire world came crumbling down. Even if you don't know what the purpose of seeing this moment for a second time is, you wipe your tears and stand by the television, watching you and Dad have your final joyful time together. You give a bittersweet smile as you see yourself give Dad his birthday present, a brand-new watch, which Uncle Tommy had helped pay for when you were forty dollars short from being able to buy it with your allowance.

"Where'd you get the money for this?" Dad had asked you. You had known he would be a bit suspicious.

"Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs." You had joked with a little smirk on your face. This makes you cry harder as you watch tenderly.

"Oh, good. You can start helping out with the mortgage, then."

"Tssh. Yeah, you wish!" You had retorted, lying back down on the sofa and getting comfortable again as Dad had switched on the TV.

You allow more tears to escape from your eyes, smiling as you see Dad with his own grin on his face. He was happy.

You sit down on the floor, not wanting to let go of this moment for one second as you watch this last happy conversation between you and Dad finish. You see the clock behind the sofa start to speed through the two hours in which you'd fallen asleep, and it stops at 1:30 A.M. Dad then gently lifted you into his arms, carrying you upstairs to your bedroom. You scramble off the floor, racing to your room alongside him. You see him lovingly set you down on your bed, stopping to brush away a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"Good night, baby girl."

Another steady flow of hot tears makes their way down your cheeks, as you feel more alone than ever.

Dad exits your room. You assume that what went down with your next-door neighbor happens soon after Dad put you to bed. But before you can follow him, time skips forward yet again, to where Uncle Tommy had called you, frantically searching for Dad.

You are left alone with yourself now, when your heart was still beating. You follow yourself as you looked for Dad. You had entered his room, empty and the television tuned in to Channel 2 News. Just like before, the camera cuts to static, and a hellish explosion can be heard and seen from Dad's window. Your living self nervously called out for Dad, hugging your body tightly as your fear had steadily risen. You follow as you'd made your way downstairs, and you find Dad anxiously come running in through the back door.

 **"** **Oh, no…"** You say to yourself, knowing what's about to happen.

Jimmy Cooper busts in through the glass door, covered in blood and shrieking. The loud **_BANG_** of the revolver still makes you uneasy as your neighbor has a bullet put into his chest.

Dad cautioned you of something awful occurring, and you run as fast as you can as the two of you had ran out the front door, and into Uncle Tommy's truck. You are able to perch yourself on top of the vehicle, as Tommy steered you and Dad out of Travis County, never return to your warm and cozy home.

You gaze around you as Tommy drove, your lips set in a frown as you pay closer attention to what had happened in your community. The family who lived a few doors down was hurriedly packing their belongings into their own car, hoping to get away from this madness. A car had smashed into a lamp post, but now you manage a glance at the bodies inside before Tommy's truck veers away. You almost think you see a toddler laying still inside, but you shake away the unsettling thought.

A family of three that had been walking alongside the road, most likely having been looking for a ride out of the city, begins to cry as Dad had told Uncle Tommy to drive past them. As Tommy's car heads into traffic, you have a front row seat to the man in front of you be torn away from his vehicle by some of the "sick" people, and be devoured instantly.

You shut your eyes, the scene so gruesome to even watch in full. Even if you can't fall off Uncle Tommy's car, you still hold on as he drives away like a madman to scramble out of Austin.

You see the headlights of the car that crash into Uncle Tommy's, and just as your living self did, you yell, **"Watch out!"** in the hopes that somehow Uncle Tommy can swerve away. Your attempt is futile. The windows shatter, and you jump off the car and tumble onto the street, seeing you shake Dad awake so he can get you out of the destroyed truck.

When Dad picks you up to carry you through the distraught city, you realize how you had hurt your leg in the crash: You weren't wearing your seatbelt.

You can feel your chest tighten as this runs through your mind, tears blinding your vision as you follow Dad while he holds you in his arms, dodging distressed civilians and "sick" people. The desperate cries and screams cause you to flinch as you chase after Dad and Tommy, wishing that you could make sure every single one of them were okay.

As you follow Dad while he carries you through the city, you involuntarily take in everything that had gone on around you. People were trampling over others that had fallen onto the ground, a burning car had collided into the movie theatre that you had loved going to. Every single individual that had run past you and Dad all feared that they would never be able to see their families again. The world had been ending, and you hadn't even known it as Dad had clasped you in his arms.

Uncle Tommy again risked his own life by keeping the crazy, delirious "sick" people at bay, telling Dad that he had you to protect, and he could outrun them. Before you race to Dad and you, you see Tommy shoot some of them in the head, blood spurting from their skulls. A cold shudder runs through you as you catch up to Dad. You're just as terrified as before when two "sick" people sprint after you and Dad, even though they can't hurt you now. They had shouted nearly incomprehensible words, but you're able to make out garbles that sound eerily like, **_"Where are you?!"_**

You had finally reach the road leading to the highway, and the "sick" people were blasted with bullets, with you resting your head into the crook of Dad's neck.

"It's okay, baby. We're safe…we're safe." He had whispered in your ear.

You don't want to watch yourself die again. Every ounce of you wants to look away. But something…something causes your feet to walk over to the soldier. Against your will, it seems, you are dragged beside the man, looking at yourself and Dad from his perspective.

"I have two civilians in the outer perimeter. Please advise."

As the scene plays out before you, you start to feel queasy. Your chest feels as if your heart is trying to escape. You have the urge to vomit because you _know_ that it's coming.

Dad asked for help, only to be met with yet again the light of the soldier's gun. Your eyes widen, feeling yourself begin to hyperventilate just before the man fires.

Then, just for a moment, your eyes move to Dad's left arm. He's still wearing the watch you gave him. When the soldier shoots at you both, as painful as it is to watch, you notice the bullets that fire at the two of you. You clearly see the bullet that hit your abdomen, and the blood that sprays out from the wound. Almost in slow motion, a bullet ricochets off the face of the watch, just narrowly missing Dad's stomach as he pivots around and rolls into the dirt. You don't follow him.

Instead, you are frozen as it dawns on you: **You saved Dad's life** , by giving him his birthday present that night when he came home from work.

Now you begin to sob harder than before, even more than now, when you are in his arms bawling from the pain of the bullet wound. Dad was safe. He was alive because of you.

Just as you begin to stagger towards Dad as he had tried to stop the bleeding, a white light envelops you, erasing the scene before you. You bring your hands to your eyes, and slowly bring them down when the light has vanished.

You aren't looking at yourself anymore. In the same spot where Dad was, is him and Uncle Tommy, standing over a freshly dug grave, by the Texas border. The sun is just beginning to climb its way into the sky, a tiny glimmer of orange can be seen over the horizon. Both Dad and Tommy are silent, Tommy's arm gently resting on Dad's back. A makeshift cross has been placed into the dirt, made from two small pieces of wood. Etched into them are your name: Sarah Miller.

The final batch of tears is freed, as you are able to deter what this means. You have moved on. You can be Dad's guardian angel now, and watch over him every day.

Uncle Tommy and Dad start to walk away from your grave, and you feel yourself drifting away, knowing that you are going somewhere better. Somewhere without pain, without sorrow.

 **"** **I'll come back, Daddy."** You whisper as you see his figure getting smaller in the distance.

 **"** **I'll always be with you."**


End file.
